She thinks im gay after we make out

When a partner suddenly declares him or herself as gay or bisexual, there is loss of the relationship, of the story of your lives. It forces us to inhabit the space between. Here's how to cope. After that I had opportunities to have consensual, low-pressure make-outs and sex with queer folx and women at other parties.

It pushes us to get comfortable with shades of grey. The organiser took me up on it and we made out and got busy in front of basically everyone. My coming out journey was essentially a series of realisations that most of what I thought I knew was bullshit. All labels are just tools we use to to convey our inner world to the people around us — they may change over time as we change.

What an amazing first time. Do they believe in monogamy or are they in an open relationship? Are they single or attached? Plus, given that bisexuality is still often seen as a phase, you might have to get used to not being validated by the people around you. In middle school, I felt my cheeks growing hot around the boys and girls alike.

My first time being sexual with a non-male was at a play party where I specifically stated that I wanted to play with women. It is not binary. Whenever TV shows or movies mentioned bisexuality, I perked up, getting the vague sense that they were talking to me. We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.

Now I know that bisexuality and gender fluidity are deeply related and supportive ideas. This one should be obvious. Other people might use queer. I’ve previously written about coming out as a lesbian and then “falling in love” with a man. I guess it took from about age 14 to 19, but my own insecurities still hold me back a lot.

Making out commenced, and that is how I figured out I was bisexual. Add in bi-erasure and the still all-too-prevalent misconceptions about bisexuality; coming to terms with your bisexuality can be tricky. When a guy goes out of his way to make disparaging remarks about gay people, one can’t help but wonder what he’s so worried about.

Despite what you may have heard, bisexuality means being attracted to more than one gender. I also worried that bisexuality was erasing trans and non-binary people. But I always confused them for admiration or jealousy as a kid. ’re homophobic. I woke up to the fact that my gut instincts were correct.

But the label you use is up to you; there is no right or wrong when identifying your sexuality. My first romantic realisation of queerness was when I started dating my hopefully future spouse who is non-binary AFAB [assigned female at birth]. We immediately fell hard for each other, and I had absolutely no doubt that my feelings were valid and serious.

And never forget, you are the main character in all of this. Gender , like sexuality, exists on a spectrum. What do they want to do about their sexuality and why is it even a question? If you are attracted to people regardless of their gender, and have the potential to be attracted to someone of any gender, you could be pansexual.

Do they have some internal bias they need to address? It’s three months in and she’s told you she thinks you’re gay, do you really think this is some fun “how we met” story you’ll tell your grandkids one day or a weird dating experience you’ll laugh about in future years with the person you do marry?.

In terms of what someone should do, it depends on many factors. This is the second period in my life where I’m wondering whether I’m bisexual or gay.